Significant Side Trail: My Journey with the J-Man (God, I love him)

As long as I have had conscious thought I knew about the J-Man.  People around me talked about him and we went to a place on Sundays where he was the center of attention.  A lot of books have been written about him and what he did, which were read to me and I read myself.  Some of the things I learned about him were that he was an awesome teacher, he could heal sick people, he was Jewish and went to synagogue regularly, he was disliked by most of the "good people" around and he hung out with mostly "bad" or insignificant people.  Not being a popular guy with the authorities they finally arrested him and killed him (or the Romans did by their conventional method - hanging on a cross).  Three days after he died, he rose from his tomb and showed himself to a bunch of folk (who eventually wrote the books about what he did) and then left to be with his father.  The folks who had hung with him, started to tell others about him and what he did and a significant movement occurred that persists to this day.  During grade and high school I actively served him and believed he was important and was someone I should pay intention to.                            

When I went off to college, he took a back seat to the activities I was interested in pursuing, many of which were not very wholesome nor edifying to others.  When I was at home with my folks I would follow their lead, but I was just doing it to make them happy.  Most of the time when I was not studying I was indulging myself - my motto was "If it feels good, do it!"  It was the late 60s.

The summer before my senior year of college I started spending time with M (that's another significant digression for later).  She had a similar experience of the J-Man as I did, and neither one of us was particularly interested in making him a priority: too busy doing worldly stuff.  We got married, had some kids, and felt like something was missing in our parenting so we started going to the Sunday place where he was still the center of attention thinking we could fill the void and bring the kids up right.

Not long after we started hanging out with folk interested in the J-Man, we joined a study group with C & T to see if we could learn some more about him.  We both got more than we expected.  

I was pursuing a engineering career in a factory making products for the telecommunications industry and, though the work was fulfilling, I did not think I was advancing through the ranks fast enough, which translates to "I want to get paid higher on the salary curve."  During my periodic reviews with my boss I am sure I seemed frustrated because he described my efforts in glowing terms, but he failed to mention any possibility of advancement.  What was the problem?

In our study group we were discussing a book written by one of the J-Man's close friends, Matt, and he recounted an event where the J-Man was sitting on a hillside with a pretty big crowd spread out below him and he was describing his worldview to some of his friends.  Now as we investigated this worldview I began to realize that mine was out of wack; the things I was pursuing: professional recognition, money, and still those things that make you feel good, did not jive with being a person that was humble, forgiving, understanding, meek, good, and sorry for not living like the J-Man wanted me to (for my own good).  So cognitive dissonance raged until I decided that the J-Man had a better plan than I did.  I remember distinctly asking the J-Man to help me be the person he wanted me to before going into a big performance review with my boss. I decided that I would not go in with the idea of pumping up his impression of me in hopes of getting a good rating but instead just to talk about what the past year had been like, where I could improve as an engineer (and person) and what our goals for the coming year would be. I left feeling more satisfied that ever before with no expectation of getting recognition, promotion or the big raise.  Those things just did not matter any more; I just wanted to be what the J-Man wanted for me and I knew that the talk he gave those folk from the hillside would be my ethical guide.  By the way, since I had given up my striving for personal gain I found myself inclined to be as helpful to those around me as I could, doing whatever I could to make them successful without regard to myself.  Guess what? I began to be recognized for just that and my engineering career started to move in directions most satisfying and productive, resulting in the advancement that I had striven for previously but without success; I took my eyes off myself (not perfectly mind you) and considered others more important.  Life was never the same after that decision.

Now as I reflect on the many years since then, I can see how the J-Man has been changing me (ever so slowly) into the person he wanted me to be (he is not finished yet). He provided for me and my family, he helped us through many challenges with family, health, employment set-backs, and disappointments, and simultaneously he gave me (and us)  both joie de vivre and reason d'etre.  These were gifts that the J-Man gave; I did not do anything to deserve them.  If my relationship with him had been based on me getting life right, of course I would have failed (who gets life right?).  Instead he just took care of my messing up (it had to do with that cross thing - he died to fix this messy world) and gave me the opportunity to live with gratitude for what he did for me and others, and without shame for all my messing up (I still mess up, I wish I didn't, but he's got it covered).

Along this journey he presented me with many ways I could serve him (basically helping other folk) which were all adventures in themselves.  On many of these adventures I had a tadpole as a partner, if you can imagine that.  Most of those adventures focused on helping other people find what I had found out about the J-Man, so that they could have the benefits of knowing him and having him take care of them (he has the amazing capability to remedy everything that plagues us, and I mean everything for everybody, but not necessarily in the way you think he should).  I can only imagine how meaningless and frustrating my life would have been if I had not chosen to follow his way instead of mine. I expect that in retirement this journey will change and I am looking forward to what he has in store for me.  And, best of all, the journey is one that is not bound by this life, this planet or the universe, but is an adventure that transcends all we see around us and does not end, ever.  Who wouldn't want that.  God, I love him.

About a year ago I had an adventure with a guy who works at the Sunday place (he works lots of other places too because he is really focused on serving the J-Man).  We attended a conference about getting the message of the J-Man out into the world and one of the sessions pertained to some methods and tools for doing this on a personal level.  The upshot of that session was my desire to be bolder and to use the tools suggested.  I plagarized the materials extensively (with permission) and developed two brochures to share with folk who may be interested in the J-Man.  Here, I call them:  Believing It and Living It.  Check them out and let me know if you have any questions or just want to talk. They can lead to the most significant journey of your life, don't miss out!